I am an ethereal being searching for the reason of my existence on earth.
i really had no more plans to journal again, not until my friend kind of implicitly convinced me to journal. so I'm back. haha.
after half a year, nothing's changed....well not much....
it's just that....
nothing.
ayoko na ng ganito. gusto ko ng pagbabago. Sana one day, magalit na rin ako sa yo. Sana maasar na ako.
This will be my last entry here.
because I'm permanently abandoning this blog. This just bores me to no end.
I'm changing blogs. I'm not too sure where yet, or if I'[m still going to continue blogging.
Anyway, sayonara!
people are coming up with lame excuses for not being able to attend the party.
I'm agitated to no end.
i don't know if it's okay na nagtatampo ako dahil mawawala ang ibang tao sa May 20.
Pero naagitate lang talaga ako. Ewan. Alam kong mali, pero nainis lang talaga ako sa sinabi sa akin kahapon.
Kasi naman, una akong nagtanong. Badtrip. Badtrip talaga.
I don't know how I still managed to fake my smiles and pakikisama kanina, kahit na sobrang agitated na ako. Not to mention stressed na rin ako.
Nahihiya ako kay mommy at kay daddy. Sobrang supportive sila dito. Pag talaga onti lang ang pumunta, wala nang bukas. Di ko na kayo kilala. (like I can do that).
Basta.
Parang ayoko na.
I'm having second thoughts about the debut.
How about cancelling the whoe thing and just go back to the original plan which is to merely purchase a debutante's cake?
It's because the people I want to see aren't going. I understand why, though, it's of short notice and well, Los Baños isn't really what you;d call a place easy to go to (screw summer classses). Other than that, other people that I want to see have either gone excommunicado or out of reach. Kamusta naman kayo? Paramdam naman kayo, I want to see you peepl! XD
About the venue, I want to have it somewhere else other than the dorm (yes, the plan was to just have it in the dorm., since it was just going to be a simple debut... pero once you think about it...............ang baduy. yeah reklamador na ko, pero wala ... there's nothing special about it... ewan. And to add to the fact that I don't want the landlady to have apart in it. Yes, I'm so very evil. XD). My dormmates told me to have it in the social garden, pero I have absolutely no idea on who and how to contact people in charge of it. I've asked Kuya Zery, (my brod who had a sister celebrating her birthday there) , an dhe isn't too sure too. I mean, I don't even know if oordinary students are wllowed to use it. hayy...
The invitations are as good as done, though the ideas are still just in my head. XD I'm going to work on it a little later. But What's really stressing about it is.... sino naman kaya ang 18 roses (or insert alternative) and 18 candles (or insert alternative)? I mean, I don't have htat many guy friends.... and my cousins, like my friends have gone excommunicado. So.... WHOEVER SHALL I PICK THEN? Stress...............
Stress.
A friend of mine was getting all OA-ish with us praising him with his high scores. Ewan, he felt like we were insulting him or something. Bastard. As if he didn't do that when he was exempted from the math finals and we weren't. Bastard. Bastard.
But somehow, I can't seem to get really really mad at him. MAybe that's because he's my effing friend. Bwiset. I hate being nice sometimes.